From Big Boy and I.  (And the reason why I didn’t have time to do a real post this morning.  I was too busy transforming my darling oldest child into Darth Maul.)  Have a happy, safe day full of lots of treats and few tricks.

First a funny video.  You can watch it here.

Another video for you.  I know I’m about a week behind the times with this one but I’ve always really liked The Killers.  Now I like them even more.  I knew Brandon Flowers was a Mormon but you never know how much famous people live their religion.  Plus, he’s pretty easy on the eyes if you ask me.

On a more serious note, I discovered this blog post this week.  It was posted back in January so you might have read it already but you should definitely check it out.  I love the whole idea behind the post but I especially love what her husband said on the phone.  Such a great response and teaches me so much about looking for opportunities to help others instead be critical.

And I’ll finish with my favorite photo of the week.

June 3, 99

I’m so tired.  I worked all day then I swept the Cannon’s drive way.  It sucked.  My hands have blisters.  It’s okay though, it’s worth the free rent.  I didn’t really do anything tonight.  I was really tired.  Yesterday I went and saw Noting Hill with Adrien, Cassi, Anna, and Ethan.  It was good.  I liked it.  I got paid today.  It was like $400.  I get paid $6.20.  I’m glad.  That’s more than I expected.  I’m glad though.  I really need to make money.  I’m not going to Lake Powell with Laura because I can’t afford to miss a week of work.  I really want to go.  Oh well.  I guess you have to do what you have to do.  I don’t think I’ll have enough money as it is.  I should have close but not quite.  I should have like $700.  I need $825.  I’ll just borrow some from someone and pay them back a few weeks later.

This was the summer between my freshman and sophomore years of college.  I lived with my sister and her best friend in a small apartment that we paid for by working in the yard of the family that owned it.  It was a huge yard and it was a lot of work but like I said it was a great trade off.  It was always hard to week a vegetable garden that you didn’t get to eat the veggies from.

I’m glad I was so excited to make $6.20/hour.  I definitely would not feel the same way now.  I was saving up to pay my rent for the next year of college.  Thanks for lending me the extra money Mom and Dad.  Did I ever pay you back?

Today is my Grandpa’s birthday.  I was lucky enough to be able to live with him for the last year of his life.  We were both going through a tough time.  My Grandma had been gone for a few years, his health was declining and he wasn’t able to do the things that he enjoyed anymore.  He was ready to go.  My husband was in Iraq and I was home with two small kids and was trying to run a household.  We were both happy to have the other one around.

Gramps especially loved having the boys around.  He had a special relationship with Medium boy.  He loved to hold him, play with him, and give him high fives.  He had a special nickname for both of the boys, Tiger and Big Ike.  Medium boy went through a hat phase and every time he saw Gramps BYU hat he had to put it on.  Gramps left the hat on the banister during the winter for easy access to it so pretty much every time we walked down the hall I had to put the hat on Medium Boys head.

Medium Boy inherited the hat after Gramps died.  I found it in a box of winter clothes last week and it made me smile.  I have a feeling it will be worn to many more BYU football games which I know would make Gramps happy.

There were a few special moments the weekend Gramps died that I will always hold dear.  He had a stroke and didn’t want any medical attention.  He lived for three days after the stroke.  I went in during that time to thank him for letting us be here and to tell him that I love him.  He told me that he loved me too.  It was a mumble as he couldn’t speak but I know that’s what he said.  My sister was in the room and she heard it too.

The next day I was on my way to church with the boys.  I didn’t know if Gramps would still be alive when we got home so I went in to say goodbye again.  I had Medium Boy with me.  Gramps waved to Medium boy with his hand that had been paralyzed by the stroke and Medium Boy waved back.  Medium Boy was almost 15 months old and hadn’t mastered waving yet.  It was a really sweet moment to see them waving to each other, one a child who hadn’t waved much, the other an old man whose hand wasn’t supposed to be waving.

I will always be grateful for the time that I got to spend with my Grandpa.

This week is Big Boy’s fall break.  Usually the Wednesday of fall break is spent packing up the car to go to Snow Canyon but I’m not doing it today.  We have a big trip planned in January that is going to be great but we have to save our vacation fund and days off of work for then.  I know it will be worth it but today I’m longing to be packing up the car and heading out on the road.

There is something about Snow Canyon.  I think I can say it is heaven on earth for me.  I love the red rocks and blue sky.  They make me feel so calm and peaceful.  The beauty of them speaks directly to my soul.  The weather there during the spring and fall is perfect too.  Sunshine and warm during the day, cool at night.

It’s more than the natural beauty and the weather that make me love it.  It’s hard to describe the feeling that I feel when I’m there.  I guess the best way to put it is relaxed and present.  Every time we have been there it has just been our little family; me, my husband and the boys.  There isn’t anyone else to please or consider when plans are being made.  We do what we want to do on our own schedule. It’s just us and it’s great.

The boys rarely fight when we’re there which I’m sure is the main reason for the peace that I feel.  I also get to go hiking, camping, and just be in nature.  Something that I so enjoy but just don’t get the time to do as much anymore.  Not only do I get to feel a little bit of the old me, the me before I was mom, but I get to share that with my family.  To see them learn to love nature.  To see nature become a part of them.

Sometimes when we are down there we also go to Sand Hollow Reservoir.  The following is part of a journal entry from the first time I visited Sand Hollow.

On Friday I just felt so happy and content.  I guess sitting on the beach watching Medium Boy play as my husband and Big Boy fished was just what I needed.  I really felt so at peace.  I wish I could always feel that way.  I think some of it must have been the total lack of stress/pressure to be doing something.  I just sat there and enjoyed myself.  It’s the best I remember feeling maybe in forever.

I remember that evening and the feelings that I had.  I think that is why I love to go back to either of these places.  Even though it has never been as strong, I always feel some of that peace.  That lack of pressure from the outside world.  I’m able to just be.  To enjoy the moment, enjoy my children, and enjoy the beauty that surrounds me.

So even though I think our vacation this winter will be worth it, today I’m longing for the peace of my happy place and counting down the days until we can go back.

(This post was written last week which is why it says it’s Wednesday when it really is Tuesday. I didn’t feel like I could get the point across as well if I changed it.)

Last week I made some Halloween treats with the boys.  I solidified my knowledge of one of my weaknesses in the process.  I am horrible at making things with children.  I get so impatient.  I know they aren’t going to do it “right” and they’re not going to look “perfect” before we start but still once we’re doing it I get frustrated and upset.

It makes me wonder if it’s worth it.  Do I still try to create these kinds of memories?  Do I want my children to associate cute holiday things with an ornery mom?  That isn’t the point of it all but that is what I feel might be happening.  I don’t see any point in continuing under the same circumstances.  Either I need to stop trying all together or keep working on it and trying to have more patience during these times. I’m pretty sure I’ll keep trying so that maybe someday my weakness will become a strength.  Although by that time I don’t think I will have changed as much as the kids will have grown up and will be more capable of doing things like this.  I guess either way things will be better.

Or there is always option #3 which is personally my favorite, let Grandma do it.  Then I keep my patience and the kids get to have the holiday baking and fun memories.  Thank goodness for Grandmas.

There is an older couple that lives in our neighborhood who have a little bit of land.  On their land they have several fruit trees, berry bushes, a wonderful garden and all sorts of cool food that they grow.  The gentleman is amazing when it comes to growing food.  You can tell he loves it and seems to know all there is to know about growing fruit.  He has one apple tree that grows several different varieties of apples because he has grafted the different branches in.  Apparently you can really do that.

Every fall for the last few years this couple has invited our family over to come pick apples.  We were all excited when the invitation was given to us again this year.  We went tonight and had such a good time.  There were other families from the neighborhood there, all equally enjoying the experience.  I have a feeling that they do it several weeks throughout the fall and invite a lot of people.

Once when we were there I overheard the older woman saying that her husband does this because he wants to teach children where food comes from.  To let them know that apples don’t just appear at the grocery store.  I’ve had the thought “It takes a village to raise a child.” in my mind all night.  I love the willingness of this couple to take their time to teach children, not just their grandchildren, but any child they know.  We have an apple tree in our backyard but we don’t know how to care for it properly.  We get apples every year but they’re always full of worm holes and just not very pretty.  We don’t have the opportunity to teach our boys about growing food in the same way that this couple does.  There is nothing like picking a beautiful apple off of the tree and immediately eating it.  I’ve never had a better tasting apple than the one I ate tonight.

It is about so much more than apples though.  It’s about people caring about others and sharing their plenty.  It’s about work and sacrifice all spring and summer long to have these beautiful crops to share with friends in the fall.  It’s about one generation doing what they can to help the generations that follow.  It’s about passing knowledge along.  Mostly for me it is an example of a really great couple that I hope to be like someday.

*This post contains  LDS scriptures, doctrines and language that might not be familiar to you.  I try to explain things the best that I can or provide links to help you understand.  Please feel free to ask any questions that you might have.  I will do my best to answer them for you.  Or you can visit mormon.org or lds.org for more information.

This last week as I was doing some cleaning, I turned on the Saturday afternoon session of General Conference.  I remembered it as my favorite session and wanted to listen to several talks again.  As I listened to the first three talks I was surprised that even though they were all on very different topics each speaker talked about technology.

First, Elder Bednar spoke on family history and that it is something that the youth of the church should do.  He said,

It is no coincidence that FamilySearch and other tools have come forth at a time when young people are so familiar with a wide range of information and communication technologies. Your fingers have been trained to text and tweet to accelerate and advance the work of the Lord—not just to communicate quickly with your friends. The skills and aptitude evident among many young people today are a preparation to contribute to the work of salvation.

I thought this was really interesting.  We have heard about texting in conference many times but always in more of a negative context.  I love the thought that the youth are so familiar with these things because it is going to help in the Lords work.

Next, Elder Anderson spoke on having children, that it is a commandment from God and the blessings that they bring into our lives.  At one point he quoted a blogger.

Many voices in the world today marginalize the importance of having children or suggest delaying or limiting children in a family. My daughters recently referred me to a blog written by a Christian mother (not of our faith) with five children. She commented: “[Growing] up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood. … Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get.” She then adds: “Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.”

(Side note:  I’ve already seen the last part of that quote on pinterest attributed to Elder Anderson.  Apparently someone didn’t listen to the talk very carefully.)

The third talk was by Elder Ardern.  His talk was on using our time wisely.

I know our greatest happiness comes as we tune in to the Lord (see Alma 37:37) and to those things which bring a lasting reward, rather than mindlessly tuning in to countless hours of status updates, Internet farming, and catapulting angry birds at concrete walls. I urge each of us to take those things which rob us of precious time and determine to be their master, rather than allowing them through their addictive nature to be the master of us.

(I’m pretty sure this talk was just for me.  This is something I struggle with.)

The internet and technology have been on my mind lately (you can read more about that here) and this connection in all these talks stuck out to me.  I think it clearly shows the good and bad of technology.  How the Lord and Satan are both using it for their purposes.

I’m not really sure how to phrase my thoughts about this.  I just thought it was interesting that three men talked about such different things but there was a common thread in all of it.  I didn’t catch it the first time I listened to Conference.  I love the things that you realize and learn when you listen to things again and again.  There is always more for me to understand.

My sister posted a link to an article on learning from failure on her blog.  It really made me think about the way I praise my children.  I will no longer tell my boys they are smart even though they are.  From now on they are “such hard workers” or “worked really hard on that”.  Read the article here if you’re interested.  I promise it’s worth your time, especially if you have kids.  If you don’t it’s worth reading for yourself.

(Seriously, how cute is she?)

This week I was also reminded of one of my favorite quotes.  Marjorie Pay Hinckley  – “I don’t want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone’s garden. I want to be there with children’s sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.”  I read this quote for the first time many years ago and have never forgotten it.  It truly is the kind of person I strive to be.

I was thinking today about an experience that I had a few weeks ago.  Once again I was listening to the radio and there was a program on with a woman who had just written a book or made a documentary film (I can’t remember which) on school lunches in our nation.  She talked about how it was pretty much fast food and that we needed to get back to healthy food for our kids.  I listened and as the program went on I got more and more upset with the school lunch program at my son’s school.

The school district that we live in has won the “Best of State” award for the last two years for it’s school lunch program.  It may have won other awards also, I don’t know.  I knew about these awards when I was listening to the radio program but I justified my feelings by what this woman was saying.  Certainly the school lunch program here had to have the problems she was talking about.  At one point a woman who has children in the same school district as me, called in and said how impressed she was with the school lunch menu.  My thought as I listened to her praises was “Yesterday Big Boy had a corn dog for lunch.  They obviously aren’t that great.”  Well, it turns out it was a baked turkey corn dog.

I have realized two things from this experience.  First, I automatically had negative thoughts about something because of what is happening elsewhere that doesn’t apply here.  I have come to realize that the school lunch here really is better than a lot of places.  Of course there are plenty of days that my son eats pizza or a hamburger for lunch but they always have whole wheat rolls, brown rice, and sometimes pay the kids a quarter if they have eaten all of their fruit or vegetables.  It is so easy to just assume the worst about something and focus on the bad but when we do that we can totally miss all of the good that is there.  I am glad that I have been able to see the good in the school lunches here and hope I can apply this lesson to other areas of my life as well.

Second, a little while after this I was making lunch for my family one Sunday and threw some frozen corn dogs in the microwave.  Yes, full fat, fried, beef (ish?) corn dogs.  As I did this, I thought back on the school lunch thoughts and realized that I was expecting the school to feed my child better than I was feeding my child.  At least when Big Boy eats a corn dog at school it’s a healthier version.  When it comes to nutrition, I really shouldn’t expect more out of the school than I expect of myself.

I guess there are some good lessons that can be learned from listening to NPR.