Present

Living in the now is something that I struggle with.  I can remember so many times that I was so impatient about what the future held that I wasn’t enjoying the present.  I was sure life would be so much better when my husband finished school, or we bought our own house, etc.  The last few years I’ve really been focusing on finding the joy in the journey.  Some days are harder than others.

I went visiting teaching* today.  My companion has older children, as do the two ladies that we visit, which means they’re now in school all day.  Several times during our visits it came up how nice it was for them to have their kids back in school all.  I had Medium Boy and Baby Boy with me.  Even though I love my kids dearly and like having them home, I started to think about what the days would be like when all of my kids are in school.

Baby Boy is three and a half years younger than Medium Boy.  We had been happily living a diaper free life for more than a year before he was born.  It’s easy to forget how much work a baby is.  I knew when Baby Boy was born that I was in for a change.  What I didn’t remember is how long it would last.  He still takes so much time.  He is constantly getting into things which means constant supervision.  I spend my day putting dishes back into the cupboards, clothes back into drawers, books back on the bookshelf and pulling LEGOs out of his mouth.  Then there is the mess that is made every single meal, changing his sheets because poop squished out of his diaper again and everything else that a baby brings.  I remember so well what it was like to be past this stage.

The reality is that Baby Boy isn’t our last baby, at least we hope not, so I have a lot more of the baby stage ahead of me.  It won’t do me a bit of good to long for those days to be over.  Instead I can find joy in the smiles that I get when I go in to get him from a nap, the laughter I hear when he is playing with his big brothers, the excitement on his face when he hears the bath water running and knows he’s about to get a bath.  Yes, having a baby is a lot of work but there is also so much joy.  If I’m always wishing my life away I’m going to miss all of the joy.

That stage of life that I sometimes long for, I’ll get there eventually and I imagine it won’t be as wonderful as I dreamed of.

“Let us relish life as we live it and find joy in the journey.” – Thomas S. Monson

*Visiting Teaching is an assignment that women in the LDS church can agree to.  This is from the church’s website “Visiting teachers . . .visit and serve their assigned sisters, taking time to teach the gospel and nurture friendships. In addition to serving individuals, visiting teachers can play an important role in strengthening families.  Leaders in wards and branches ensure that visiting teachers are assigned to each sister age 18 or older. Priesthood and Relief Society leaders follow up with visiting teachers to help meet each sister’s spiritual and temporal needs. ”  If you still have questions ask and I’ll do my best to answer them.

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2 thoughts on “Present

  1. How did I miss that you were writing this blog? I LOVE it. Everything about it. I love the windows into your life, spirit and soul. I love the idea of posting journal entries from your earlier in your life. Loved reading the one about meeting your husband. The picture of the worn out crocs to represent the end of summer was so great, a great picture and so captures the emotion of the post. I am so inspired and impressed. I also miss you SO MUCH. I keep trying to just be grateful I love my sisters so much that living far away is a challenge…not working tonight. 🙂 Thank you for being my friend along with my sister. xo

  2. I remember feeling exactly the same way and, though I know you’ve heard it before– probably from your own mom as well as me and others– these times will be over sooner than you can imagine and you will wonder how they could have gone by so fast. The “Present” is the SLOWEST time ever! But when it becomes the “Past” it suddenly is gone in the blink of an eye and you find yourself laughing at the fact that you are a great-grandmother and can’t figure out how THAT could have happened while you are still so young! 🙂

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