Some Days

Some days it’s hard to be the kind of mom I want to be.

Some days I get impatient and annoyed with my kids and it shows.  I ignore their questions or answer them in a mean tone.  Even as I’m doing it I know I should stop, that it isn’t right, but I do it anyway.

Some days I get so tired of hearing “Why?”  after everything I say.  It’s been 5 years now that that has been the standard reply from my children.  Some days I just can’t answer “why?” again.

Some days the crying and whining is just too much.  I don’t handle hurt hearts with the compassion they need.

Some days I get way to upset about simple, meaningless things.  I get angry and yell.

Some days I can’t handle the dilly dally that is used to postpone bedtime.  How good is it to say a prayer with your children when there is anger in your heart?

Today was one of those days.

These days, after the kids are sleeping and the house is quiet, I always feel the guilt.

Then I pray for forgiveness from God and hope that my children grow up remembering the days that aren’t some days.

 

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6 thoughts on “Some Days

  1. You know, I was thinking obviously every Mother has these times, but thinking back, I don’t really have a lot of memories of my Mom snapping at me or anything. Sure a FEW times (specifically when I did something bad) but I’m SURE she had days like this and I don’t have many memories of them. My memories are mostly of her reading books and singing songs to me and constantly hugging and kissing me. So, I’m sure that your boys will remember those things a lot clearer than your days like this.

  2. sorry about the rough day! opposition in all things I suppose. your kids can’t grow up seeing a perfect mother who never makes mistakes or loses her temper. how would they learn to forgive and apologize if it was never modeled for them? love you.

  3. When I think about my childhood I don’t remember the “some days”. I am sure it will be that way with your boys too. You are an amazing mom and everyone is entitled to lose it now and again.

  4. Just the fact that you are AWARE of this shows what a good mom you are. Those times are not the ones they will remember because they are not the norm. I can attest to that because of the relief I felt at reading Destiny’s comment above! Because I, too, used to wonder if my kids would remember my crabbing and complaining or if they would remember that I really did my best to love them and make them feel important and good about themselves. I know that you do that too and I can see it in the confidence your boys have and how happy and interactive they are. I couldn’t wish for a better mom for my grandsons!

  5. I am positive that you are more of a mother to those boys than you really know. I am positive that some day they will look back and all they will see is your love. I am positive that even though you feel horrible and guilty about your behavior at times, that it is not who you are because who you are is amazing. I know I don’t get to experience you as a mother, but I know who you are. Someday I hope you get a glimpse of that. xo, Martha

  6. Aaaaaaaamen! I’ve had those days too, and it is validating to know a great mom like you has them too. I feel lucky that kids forgive so quickly and so easily and the next day is a new day and I get to start over.
    Barbara

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