This sign is one of my favorite things that I’ve found on Pinterest.  I love that it’s real.  It’s not what you wish and dream your family is but what you feel your family actually is.

I’ve been thinking lately about coming up with a family motto for our family.  It seems hard to put what I want my family to be or what our family already is into words.  This sign has definitely helped.

The sign comes from an etsy shop called cellardesigns.  I liked these ones too.

If we are able to come up with a motto as a family, I’m going to put it on a big sign like this and hang it in a prominent place in our house.

If you were going to make a family motto for you family what’s one thing that would be in it for sure?

Some days it’s hard to be the kind of mom I want to be.

Some days I get impatient and annoyed with my kids and it shows.  I ignore their questions or answer them in a mean tone.  Even as I’m doing it I know I should stop, that it isn’t right, but I do it anyway.

Some days I get so tired of hearing “Why?”  after everything I say.  It’s been 5 years now that that has been the standard reply from my children.  Some days I just can’t answer “why?” again.

Some days the crying and whining is just too much.  I don’t handle hurt hearts with the compassion they need.

Some days I get way to upset about simple, meaningless things.  I get angry and yell.

Some days I can’t handle the dilly dally that is used to postpone bedtime.  How good is it to say a prayer with your children when there is anger in your heart?

Today was one of those days.

These days, after the kids are sleeping and the house is quiet, I always feel the guilt.

Then I pray for forgiveness from God and hope that my children grow up remembering the days that aren’t some days.

 

Living in the now is something that I struggle with.  I can remember so many times that I was so impatient about what the future held that I wasn’t enjoying the present.  I was sure life would be so much better when my husband finished school, or we bought our own house, etc.  The last few years I’ve really been focusing on finding the joy in the journey.  Some days are harder than others.

I went visiting teaching* today.  My companion has older children, as do the two ladies that we visit, which means they’re now in school all day.  Several times during our visits it came up how nice it was for them to have their kids back in school all.  I had Medium Boy and Baby Boy with me.  Even though I love my kids dearly and like having them home, I started to think about what the days would be like when all of my kids are in school.

Baby Boy is three and a half years younger than Medium Boy.  We had been happily living a diaper free life for more than a year before he was born.  It’s easy to forget how much work a baby is.  I knew when Baby Boy was born that I was in for a change.  What I didn’t remember is how long it would last.  He still takes so much time.  He is constantly getting into things which means constant supervision.  I spend my day putting dishes back into the cupboards, clothes back into drawers, books back on the bookshelf and pulling LEGOs out of his mouth.  Then there is the mess that is made every single meal, changing his sheets because poop squished out of his diaper again and everything else that a baby brings.  I remember so well what it was like to be past this stage.

The reality is that Baby Boy isn’t our last baby, at least we hope not, so I have a lot more of the baby stage ahead of me.  It won’t do me a bit of good to long for those days to be over.  Instead I can find joy in the smiles that I get when I go in to get him from a nap, the laughter I hear when he is playing with his big brothers, the excitement on his face when he hears the bath water running and knows he’s about to get a bath.  Yes, having a baby is a lot of work but there is also so much joy.  If I’m always wishing my life away I’m going to miss all of the joy.

That stage of life that I sometimes long for, I’ll get there eventually and I imagine it won’t be as wonderful as I dreamed of.

“Let us relish life as we live it and find joy in the journey.” – Thomas S. Monson

*Visiting Teaching is an assignment that women in the LDS church can agree to.  This is from the church’s website “Visiting teachers . . .visit and serve their assigned sisters, taking time to teach the gospel and nurture friendships. In addition to serving individuals, visiting teachers can play an important role in strengthening families.  Leaders in wards and branches ensure that visiting teachers are assigned to each sister age 18 or older. Priesthood and Relief Society leaders follow up with visiting teachers to help meet each sister’s spiritual and temporal needs. ”  If you still have questions ask and I’ll do my best to answer them.

Here are a few of my favorite sources of inspiration this week.

First, a quote from Joseph F. Smith

“Those things which we call extraordinary, remarkable, or unusual may make history, but they do not make real life.”

I love that.

My favorite blog post from the week can be found here.  The whole post is excellent but my favorite part was this,

I think every mother has to go through thousands of different phases of “routine.” It changes each year whether there is a new baby or new extracurricular activities or a job change or even when you just want to pull up your bootstraps and get more organized. I have gone through phases where I have one day for laundry, one day for cleaning, one day for organizing dinners for the rest of the week. I’ve gone through years with colicky newborns who had reflux when just staying afloat was the only “routine” I had.  I think every situation warrants different means of routine. We just have to make time to step back and evaluate what is most important at each stage.

Very most importantly, I think it’s essential to realize as a mother of young children, (especially when those children are close in age), simply “being there” for them is enough. It’s so easy to get down on ourselves that we didn’t happen to save the world on any given day along with wiping off runny noses and kissing scraped knees. But we must realize that in doing these very seemingly insignificant tasks we are changing the world. If those little people entrusted in our care feel love and value it beats any other accomplishment in my book.

I love how individual she makes things.  Our routine is just that, ours.  I also love the emphasis she puts on the small “seemingly insignificant tasks” that mothers spend their days doing.  I often fail to see the importance in those types of tasks.  I hope I will realize their import more.

I’m ordering “I Didn’t Plan to Be a Witch” by Linda Eyre tomorrow.  I know I can certainly use a lot of help in that area.

 

What sources of inspiration did you find this week?  I’d love to hear about them.

My boys love to have a lemonade stand.  I don’t think they’re in it for the money, I think they just like giving drinks to people.

We live in the middle of a quiet neighborhood on a road that people only drive on if they live in the neighborhood or know someone who does.  Because of this our front yard isn’t the best place for a lemonade stand.  That doesn’t stop them.  They set them up anyway.  I am always so grateful for the neighbors and anyone else who stops to buy lemonade from them.  It makes their day, and mine.

Several years ago when I was still single and in college I saw some kids selling lemonade.  I stopped to buy some and decided that every time I saw kids selling something on the side of the road I would stop and buy it.   And I did.  I rarely, if ever, drank the lemonade.  Once I paid for it I’d drive around the corner or out of view of the sellers and dump it out the window.  I wasn’t after a drink and you never know what’s in that stuff when kids make it.

One day I saw a lemonade stand and pulled up to it.  There on the table was a pitcher of lemonade and some ceramic cups.  Of course I didn’t notice this until I had already stopped and felt committed to buying a drink from these kids.  I gave them my money and watched as they handed me a mug of lemonade.  I sat there in my car trying to think of a way out of it but nothing came to mind that wouldn’t break a few kids hearts.  I took the mug, drank the lemonade, then gave them the mug back which they promptly filled up for the next lucky person who stopped to buy a drink.

I rethought my lemonade stand commitment that day.

Tomorrow is the last day of our summer vacation.  On Monday morning we will be getting up and getting Big Boy to school.  I hear people saying that they can’t wait for school to start, to have their kids in school all day, to have a routine again.  I am not one of those people.

I love having my kids home.  I love being able to do whatever we want whenever we want.  I love that Big Boy is home all day playing/fighting with Middle Boy.  I love hearing the sounds of summer as they play outside with the neighbor kids for hours at a time only coming in to ask for Otter Pops.  I love trips to the water park and sending the boys to Grandma’s house for the night whenever we want to.

Most of all I love that it’s just us.  We’re together as a family.  We make the decisions on what we want to do because it’s what we want to do.  Our world revolves around us, not anyone else.

Yes, it will be nice to not have all 3 boys at the grocery store or bank.  Yes, the house will be much quieter and there will be much less fighting.  I might even be able to get something done again.

But if I had my choice, it would always be summer vacation.

I read the following phrase in the Reader’s Digest and liked it.  (Yes, I read the Reader’s Digest.  No, I’m not 90 years old.)

“Serenity Parenting”

“Once I became a dad of twins, I noticed that parents around me had a different take on the power of nurture,” writes Bryan Caplan in the Wall Street Journal. “I saw them turning parenthood into a chore – shuttling their kids to activities even the kids didn’t enjoy, forbidding television, desperately trying to make their babies eat another spoonful of vegetables.  Parents’ main rationale is that they’re sacrificing now to turn their kids into healthy, smart, successful, well-adjusted adults.  But according to decades of research, their rationale is wrong.  Parents should lighten up.  I call it ‘serenity parenting.’  Focus on enjoying the journey with your child instead of trying to control his destination.  Accept that your child’s future depends mostly on him.  Realize that the point of discipline is to make your kid treat people around him decently – not to mold him into a better adult.”

Then a few days later I found a link to this article on cjane’s blog.

Parenting is such a tricky thing.  It’s so hard to know if what you’re doing is right or not.  I think both of these give some good ideas to think about and apply to your situation if you feel it’s right.  I know I will.

Last summer I wanted to do some structured learning activities with my boys but it never happened.  It could blame it on the fact that I had a baby but that’s not the reason.  I just didn’t do it.

This summer I wanted to try again.  I thought about it in May hoping that I could get it planned out and start as soon as school got out.  I didn’t.  I thought about it a lot but June was a crazy month and we weren’t at home for most of it.  I figured it would be easier to start when we were home.  The end of June I finally took the time to make a plan.  Then I never implemented it.

And now it’s August.  There are only 3 weeks until school starts.  Once again I have gone the whole summer without following through with my plans.

This happens a lot.  I always seem to have good intentions but don’t follow through.  I get frustrated with myself which leads me to think of all of the things I haven’t done that I wanted to and all of the other ways that I fall short.  I get discouraged and down.

Last night as I was rocking Baby Boy, putting him to bed, I started thinking about the fact that summer was almost over and I still hadn’t implemented my plan.  Instead of the usual self destructive thoughts I thought that even though the summer was almost over it wasn’t too late to start.  It was the first day of August, I could tell the boys that we were getting ready to go back to school.  And that’s what we did.  This morning we spent about an hour doing some writing, math and reading.

It’s amazing how much better I feel.  I need to learn from this experience.  The past is the past.  There’s nothing I can do about it.  Getting down on myself for what I didn’t do and can’t change isn’t a way to live.  What I can do is learn from my past so that I benefit my future.

And just because I haven’t started doesn’t mean it’s too late.

 

 

This entry was requested by my husband.  He told me it was the best day of my life.  He might be right.

October 7, 2001

Conference was good again today.  Is it ever not good?  I doubt it.  America attacked Afghanistan today.  It’s scarry.  Pres. Hinckley’s talk made me nervous.  He was just saying that there are hard times ahead and we need to prepare.  I was planning on spending some time writing and studying today but we spent too much time visiting people.  We went and met our neighbors that live across the street.  They’re really cool.  They’re all pretty cute too.  I hope we become friends with them.  They did invite us to their BBQ on Thursday so that should be fun.  Life is good right now.  Conference always gives you this renewed hope and motivation to do better.  I always hate it when it’s over thought.  To bad we can’t have it once a month or something.  But then I’d take it for granted.

My husband was one of the neighbors that lived across the street.  My roommates and his roommates all became really good friends.  Their apartment was our second home.

If you’re wondering what Conference is go here.

I brought my boys to the library today.  All 3 of them.  If you don’t have children you might think that a trip to the library would be a fun, relaxing experience.  That is far from the truth.  My trip to the library consisted of a 1 year old who didn’t want to be put in the stroller but also didn’t want to be held.  What did he want to be doing?  Pulling every book that he could get his hands on off of the shelf and throwing it on the floor.  If I tried to pick him up he was diving out of my arms before I got him to my hip.

It also consisted of a 4 year old who can’t read wanting to bring home every Star Wars book imaginable.  I refused.  I won’t read him chapter Star Wars books.  Not yet.  Maybe not ever.

Don’t forget about the 7 year old who wanted to push the empty stroller around.  7 years olds aren’t really good at paying attention to what they’re pushing the stroller into.

Then there was the time that I was talking to the librarian to renew my card, trying to retrieve my card from my bag which was in the stroller.  The same stroller that was now being pushed by both a 7 year old and a 4 year old.  Pushed around and around and around the line dividers.  Bending over to retrieve said library card while holding a wiggly 1 year old.

After I retrieved the card they “parked” the stroller.  Apparently parking the stroller means putting the brakes on which I didn’t realize until I tried to push it away when I was done and ended up running right into it.  Then I hurt my toe by trying to undo the brake with my foot while wearing flip flops.

And now you know why I rarely visit the library.