In one day I went from having this view outside my front door…

to this view outside my front door.
I’m freezing!

I know my presence around here has been rather sporadic lately.  I decided to take some time off for the holidays which was nice.  Now I am ready to get back into it but I’m going out of the country for a few weeks.  I promise that by February I will be back to regular posts.  (Maybe sooner)  Until then I’ll leave you with a link to blog post I read last week that I liked.  I hope you enjoy it.

Just wanted to share a few things that happened over the last week or so.

I was making some gifts for the boys friends and needed an xacto knife.  I knew we had one but couldn’t find it.  I looked everywhere I thought it would be and it wasn’t anywhere.  I even looked in the garage.  Our garage is a disaster and for me to find anything out there it is a miracle.  No miracles happened.  I ended up using a plain razor blade.  It hurt my fingers and didn’t work as well but I managed to get the job done.  After I got the stuff cut out I needed to paint it.  Off I went to find a paint brush.  I looked in the garage again.  I never found a paint brush but you know what I did find?  The xacto knife.

We chose to refinish our wood floor a few days after Christmas.  The plan was for me and the boys to spend a few days at my in-laws house so we would be out of the way and because access to most of the main living space in our house would be off limits.  About a half hour before I was going to leave I got a call that my niece, who was also at my in-laws house, had thrown up.  We all thought the sickness was really contagious and we probably didn’t want to go to their house.  It had been going around and seemed to be caught quickly and easily.  My nephew was there and they were sure that he would get it, my mother-in-law too.  I decided that I didn’t want to risk the boys or I getting sick and spent the day at my sisters house instead.  The next day my sisters kids were both sick, throwing up all over.  My mother-in-law and nephew, fine.

We ended up staying home for the night, sleeping in the basement while work went on upstairs.  I woke up in the morning with a tingling lip, the first signs of a cold sore.  I have a prescription that helps a ton if you take it as soon as you feel the cold sore coming on.  It was upstairs in my bathroom.  The same bathroom that is at the end of the hall that had just been stained and couldn’t be walked on until it dried.

I had heard a few people talking about the peppermint shakes at Chick Fil A in December and how good they were.  I really wanted to try one but we don’t live close to a Chick Fil A.  We ended up having to stop at a store to get something for my father-in-law one night.  The store was close to the Chick Fil A.  We went there for dinner and all I really wanted was the shake.  It was Dec. 30 and they didn’t have them anymore.

I bought a whole case of oranges a few weeks ago.  My kids love oranges and we were going to have company over Christmas.  I thought we would eat them.  We ended up having most of the case left and they needed to be used.  My father-in-law has a juicer so we brought them up there.  They made the best fresh juice.  We made a few batches and drank it fresh but before we left my husband and I spent about an hour juicing all of them.  We put the juice in a washed milk carton and brought it home to enjoy over the next few days.  The next morning when we went to drink some of it, it was disgusting.  There was a bitter taste that totally ruined the whole gallon of juice.

We are going on a family vacation soon and my husband and I will be scuba diving while we’re there.  I haven’t dove since 2009 and he hasn’t dove for awhile either.  We decided to go to a place close to us as a refresher.  We invited other members of his family who dive and figured we would just bring the kids then we could switch off diving and staying up on top, swimming with the kids.  We had bought something for my father-in-law and he was going to repay us by paying for us to dive.  We ended up getting there really late but about a half hour before the others.  Since we were there first we ended up paying for everyone.  Then Baby Boy wasn’t too happy to be in the water and just wanted me to hold him.  I spent the whole time holding Baby Boy while my husband snorkeled with the other kids.  We never actually dove.  The rest of the divers in the family did, just not us.  And a scuba tank fell on my toe.

Yes, it seemed like nothing could go right for a few days.  Some of it is due to lack of planning or organization and can be fixed but most of it is just life.  It is easy for me to spend my time focusing on all that went wrong with my week and not even give a second thought to all that went right.

But you know what?  The friends gifts turned out adorable and now I know where the xacto knife is the next time I need it.  None of us got sick.  I only had to wait an hour for my cold sore medicine and it didn’t make much difference.  I didn’t really need to eat a shake for dinner.  My mother-in-law is going to babysit the boys this week and pay for us to go back up and scuba dive and our floor looks amazing, better than I had hoped.  Sure, I’m out a few dollars and an hour of my life for bad OJ but if that’s the worst thing that happened to me this week then I’m doing pretty well.

If I were to name 2011 it would be called The Year of Star Wars.

Last Christmas I wanted to get my boys a new Wii game.  They were both really into Legos so I figured a Lego Wii game would be the way to go.  I checked them out on Amazon and decided to go with Lego Star Wars, mostly because it was the cheapest.  Little did I know the impact that decision would have on my life.

By New Years Eve we had purchased The Phantom Menace.  All six movies were in our dvd cupboard before the end of January.  The Wii game has been played more than I care to admit.  Clone Wars is a regular recording on our DVR.

It doesn’t stop at media.  We have light sabers, masks, Lego sets and alarm clocks.  Even matching Halloween costumes and a pair of Darth Vader shoes.

That still isn’t all.  Probably 80% of what comes out of Big Boys mouth, if not more, is about Star Wars.  Baby Boy can sing The Imperial March for heaven’s sake.

All because I spent $15 on one video game a year ago.

It is amazing how much one small choice can affect your life.

It’s funny how you grow up and all the sudden realize you are turning into your mom.

Growing up my mom had a children’s Christmas party every year.  She would invite all of the little children in the neighborhood over to our house while the older kids were in school.  Her goal was to give the parents a day to work on Christmas stuff without the kids around.  When we were older she would let us stay home from school and help her.  There were sometimes a lot of kids and I’m sure she needed all the help she could get.

When these children came over they didn’t just play.  My mom always had all sorts of projects for them to do or treats for them to make.  I’ve made quite a few pine cone/peanut butter bird feeders in my day.

The last few years I’ve thought about having one of these parties but talked myself out of it because it seemed too overwhelming.  This year I realized that I could have the party for a few people.  I invited 5 friends to bring their children over for the day.  It was so much fun.  I spent the day being chased by a shark, making sugar cones into Christmas trees, reading books, and making 7 PBJ’s for lunch.  I also fell in love with a few children that turned out to be so fun to have in my home.  Although I know I shouldn’t be, I’m surprised at how much I benefited from the experience.

I’m glad that I was able to take a good idea and turn it into something that works for me at this stage of life.  I don’t always see things that way.  And I’m glad that I have a great mom who may not be so bad to turn into after all.

Parenting is hard.  I’m sure that is no surprise to anyone.  (I’m also sure that what I feel is hard now will probably be a huge understatement compared to what parenting a teenager will be like.)  There is never a clear answer and if you happen to find one with one kid, it isn’t the same for another kid.

We are having some obedience issues with our children right now.  They aren’t anything more than the normal things you deal with as a parent, at least I don’t think they are.  But really, who knows what normal is when it comes to kids and parenting?  I certainly don’t.  Anyway, back to the issue.  My kids just don’t want to listen and I am so sick and tired of nagging them all the time and getting upset over their actions.  Something had to change.

Last week I decided that I wouldn’t be on their case all day about them doing their Saturday jobs.  The jobs didn’t get done on Saturday.  They didn’t even get done on Monday.  Medium Boy got his done on Tuesday, Big Boy waited until Thursday.  The consequence was that they couldn’t play with friends or have any screen time until the jobs were done.  Those are two things they both really enjoy.  Apparently they don’t like them as much as I thought they did because they went almost a week without them and managed just fine.  As a matter of fact, it was quite refreshing for me to not be asked a million times a day if they could play on something.  I was surprised at their ability to be creative and play with other things when the computer, wii and friends were out of the question.

This last Saturday they were both done with their jobs by 9:00 am.  Big Boy wanted to finish playing computer game that he started the night before and couldn’t until the jobs were done.

I look back at these two experiences and have to wonder.  The expectation was exactly the same, they had to get their jobs done.  The consequence was the same too.  I guess it all comes down to agency, the fact that my children have the right to choose.  If they choose to not do their jobs they know what the consequence will be.  Sometimes they’re okay with the consequences, sometimes they aren’t.  I sure wish I could choose when they will do their jobs early in the morning and when they wait a week, but that’s not how it works.  I have to learn to be okay with the fact that it’s okay if the toy room or bathroom isn’t cleaned for a few extra days.  Getting upset about it affects me way more than it does them.

I need to keep reminding myself that the ultimate goal isn’t to have a clean house all of the time.  It isn’t even to teach my boys to work and that they are a part of our family and therefore they need to contribute.  Although those are goals that I have in parenting, they aren’t what matters most.  The ultimate goal is to teach them that they have to make choices and their choices have consequences.  If they can learn that now it will be well worth a dirty house for a few days.

Short and sweet.  Two of my favorite blog posts that I read this week can be found here and here.  They are a good reminder during this season and any season about how blessed we are.  I have been thinking lately about the fact that someone else wants what I have.  It really helps me to be grateful for my blessings even when they may not feel like blessings.

As my older boys grow up I have noticed that they tend to have a theme.  Certain things that keep happening to them that don’t happen to the others.

Big Boy is the injured.  I have had to take him to the ER 3 times.  He has had stitches on his face 3 times, a staple in his head once and at least one other cut on his face that probably could have been stitched but we chose not to bring him in.  Of course all three trips to the ER were when dad was gone so I had to handle it.  Yes, the only place that he hurts is his face.  We may be able to call him scar face soon.

Medium Boy is the destroyer.  He has broken more things than I can remember.  Books that made it through Big Boy looking practically new were torn and written on in no time once Medium Boy could get to them.  He tried to throw an 8 lb weight through the sliding glass door once.  The weight won.  Just in the last week he has broken the mirror in the bathroom, broken my hand held mirror, put a quarter in the DVD player in the car, and cut a perfectly good ball of yarn into tiny, unusable pieces.

I haven’t discovered Baby Boy’s theme yet but I imagine he’ll have one.  Please let it be the peacemaker.

I have a hard time asking for help.  I like to be independent and it’s hard for me to admit that I can’t always do it all.

Friday night I brought my boys to our ward (church congregation) Christmas party.  My husband wasn’t able to go with us so I was on my own.  I was a little worried about how it would all turn out.  I wasn’t going to ask anyone for help but at the same time I wished someone would notice me by myself and offer to sit and help me out.  It didn’t happen.  I didn’t really need help, if I did I would have asked for it, but a little recognition from someone would have been nice.  (Makes me think of this post.)

At 7:30 on Saturday morning I had to go pick up my bountiful basket.  I sent Big Boy out about 7:20 to start the car so it would warm up.  He came in a few minutes later and told me that when he tried to start it it just clicked.  Not exactly how I wanted to start my weekend.  My husband was still gone with our other car sitting in an airport parking lot.  I couldn’t bring myself to call a neighbor or friend at 7:30 on a Saturday morning but I also didn’t want to not get my food especially if it was going to be awhile until I could drive to the grocery store.  I loaded Baby Boy up in the stroller, left strict instructions with Big Boy to lock the door behind me and not answer the door or the phone unless it was me calling and to call me if he needed anything.  Then I left my 7 and 5 year olds home alone while I ran a mile to the pick-up site with Baby Boy in the stroller in about 20 degree weather.  By the time I got there they were calling me because I was a half hour late.  When I told them my situation they girl in charge said “Why didn’t you call me?”  Then another girl who was just there getting her basket offered to drive mine home for me.  She offered me a ride too but didn’t have a car seat so I told her I’d be fine walking home.

When I got home I saw the one of my neighbors had called.  She didn’t leave a message so I didn’t call her back.  Well, this morning my car wouldn’t start again.  I had a friend come help me jump start it and I’ll hopefully get the battery fixed today but when I got back inside my neighbor called again.  She had noticed that I was having trouble with my car and called to make sure I didn’t need any help.  This neighbor is older, her kids are my age, and she recently had neck surgery.  In spite of all that she is dealing with, she noticed that I might need help and didn’t wait to offer it.

I guess what I’m getting at is that there are many times in life when we can help others.  Small things that make a big difference to someone.  My neighbor didn’t help me but her offer to help lifted me.  These last few days have helped me to realize that there are opportunities to help others all around us.  All we have to do is open our eyes and hearts and notice them.  I hope that I can notice the help that others need more often and not be afraid to offer what I can offer.