Photo credit

I was one of those crazy people who went to Walmart at 10:00 pm on Thanksgiving night.  You know what’s even crazier, I wasn’t even going to buy anything.  I went with two of my sisters-in-law just for the fun of it.  I knew going into it that I wasn’t after anything.  There wasn’t anything in the ad that is on any of our Christmas lists and I knew that we hadn’t budgeted for any extra purchases at the moment.

It was still hard not to buy anything.  I am a sucker for a deal.

At one point I was waiting by a display of pogo sticks.  I’ve never thought of getting my boys a pogo stick but when I was standing there seeing the $12 price tag, all of the sudden I started thinking of buying it.  I imagine they’d like it for a day or two then figure out that it’s pretty hard to do and not be interested in practicing so it would just end up cluttering the garage.  Luckily I realized that as I was still in the store and passed on it.  Just because it’s a good price doesn’t mean I need it.

As I walked around the store that night I spent my time watching people and wondering how much of that stuff they would buy if there wasn’t someone else behind them who wanted it.  Is their cart full of stuff just because they want to win, to be better than someone else?

Something similar happened to me the next day when my  husband and I were in Ikea.  I knew they had easels for kids on sale before we went there and had no desire to buy one.  Then I starting seeing them in almost everyone’s cart and started thinking that we should get one. If everyone else is buying them then I must be missing out on something.  Then I stopped myself.  My kids wouldn’t be interested and I certainly don’t want another big item to clutter up the toyroom.

All of this makes me wonder what other kinds of things we do because others are doing it?  What do we spend our time and effort on just so that we can be better than someone else?  What do we buy just because we see that someone else has it?

How much better could our lives be if we focused on what we actually needed and wanted, on what would make us happy, instead of what we think will make us happy because of what we see in others?  Just because half of the people in Ikea are buying an easel doesn’t mean that it’s going to enrich my life or that it won’t be a waste of money.  I’m glad I realized that.  Now I hope I can take that realization into other areas of my life and be better at doing what’s best for me and my family instead of worrying about what others are doing.

One of my favorite holiday traditions is our families Thankful Tree.  Every night in November, until Thanksgiving, we each write what we’re thankful for on a leaf and hang it on the tree.

I especially love these from a certain 7 year old who whines every time he is asked to do even the smallest amount of work and is the king of delaying bedtime.

Then there were days where he made me laugh and melted my heart with ones like these…

I also loved watching my four (now five) year old learning to write and spell words.  He insisted on doing it himself every night.

(Computer, microwave)

(Babies, tape and glue)

(school, Legos)

I’m also glad for the opportunity to slow down every night and think of what I’m grateful for.  I have so much I could fill the tree three times over and still find more to be thankful for.  I love our Thankful Tree.

July 19, 96

Today was pretty boring but tonight was fun.  Me and Lindsey rode bikes down to Hogi Yogi and visited Anna.  Then we went and visited Tony at Quick Stop.  We talked to him for about an 1/2 hour.  He might come tonight and get us around 3.  I kind of hope he doesn’t.  I’d be scared to sneak out.  Well, anyway, I went with Anna, Cassi and Sarah around 10:30.  We went over to Movies 8 and picked up on guys.  It was okay.  We only talked to two cars.  The first ones were dorks but the second ones were okay.  They weren’t fine or anything.  Well if Tony comes, I’ll tell tomorrow.

 

July 20, 96

Tony did come last night.  Well actually this morning.  He woke Jennie up because he didn’t see my window.  Jen came and woke me up.  We mostly drove around Spanish Fork and Salem.  We picked up some of his friends too, two boys and two girls.  They were pretty cool.  Kind of weird but aren’t we all.  Tony took his van.  He doesn’t have his license either, only his permit.  I was so scared that we were going to get pulled over.  Good thing we didn’t since we were throwing rocks at signs and mailboxes.  We left about 3 and came back at 5:15.  So I slept in until 12.  I don’t think I like Tony anymore.  He’s dang cool and I like him as a friend but last night I didn’t really feel attracted to him.  But we’ll have to wait and see.

 

The only time I snuck out and it wasn’t even fun because I was too afraid of getting caught.  Thanks for assisting my rebellious ways Jen.

Here are a bunch of random thoughts that aren’t grand enough to be their own post but I wanted to share them anyway.

I try to wake up early on weekdays to get started on my day before the boys wake up.  We live in an old house that has creaky floors.  Whenever I tip-toe down the hall in the morning, trying to be quiet so I won’t wake anyone up, I think of Katniss Everdeen and how I’m sure she could walk down the hall and not make any noise at all.  There’s no way I could win the Hunger Games with all of the noise that I make.

Why is Jillian Michaels on The Doctors?  I’m pretty sure she is not a doctor.

Speaking of doctors, why is it when they give you a prescription for Amoxicillin it says to take it for 10 days but they only give you enough for 8?  Every time we’ve had Amoxicillin we’ve had the same problem.

Why are donuts considered a breakfast item?  Can you get more of a dessert than sugar loaded fried bread covered in frosting?  It just shouldn’t be for breakfast.

Should I be concerned when my son brings a note home from his teacher that says they’re going to have a “pyjama” party tomorrow?  It was spelled that way twice.  I guess it’s a good thing that teacher teaches French.  (I really like him by the way, I just think it’s funny when the people who are supposed to be teaching my child how to spell can’t spell.)

And now you know some of the things that go through my head.

My birthday is this week.  I turn 31.  Last year, when I turned 30, it didn’t really phase me.  I knew I would wake up at age 30 feeling just the same as I did at 29.  I was right.  I guess being married and a mom to three kids is what I would have guessed I’d be doing at 30 so the age didn’t freak me out.

Lately though I’ve had several experiences that have made me feel old.

The end of last summer I was invited to a bridal shower for my nephews fiance.  When I started thinking of a gift I didn’t know what to bring.  I’m the one who brought homemade, often edible, lingerie to all of my girlfriends showers.  Now I was the aunt.  You can’t bring lingerie to your nephews fiances shower.  I felt like I should bring bath towels or something.  I settled on a gift card.

The last two weekends I have attended events that didn’t start until 8:00 p.m.  As I was driving to the first one, alone in the car, trying to keep myself awake it all seemed so weird.  It was totally dark and felt like I should be going to bed not just going out for the night.  Yep, 8:00 is late.  How’s that for being old?

As we were driving home this weekend my husband and I were talking about the radio station we were listening to.  He said that he used to listed to it all the time in high school but now he’s moved onto KSL (local talk radio).  I realized I mostly listen to NPR.

The final thing, the one that pushed me over the edge and made me realize I’m definitely middle aged.  I looked at the Eddie Bauer catalog and thought the clothes were cute.

Today, for your viewing pleasure, two of my favorite images off of facebook this week.  They both made me laugh out loud.  Enjoy!

Thanks Polly and Lindsey

photo credit

“We spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others—usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths. “

–Dieter F. Uchtdorf 

I heard this quote a few weeks ago at a church meeting and was amazed.  Amazed that even though it is such a truth and so simple, I hadn’t realized it before.  Amazed also at how it helped me to see what I had been doing to myself.  Do we ever compare strengths to strengths and weaknesses to weaknesses?  Not very often, if at all.

While my husband was in Iraq, my neighbor’s daughter went through a divorce and moved back in with her parents.  She has two kids about the same age as my older boys.  She is also beautiful, tall, skinny, and drove a Lexus.  She always looked good.  Even when I saw her on her way to/from the gym she looked great.  I never once saw her driving her daughter to school in her pajamas or her kids looking frumpy.

On the other hand, I drove my son to school in pj’s almost everyday, weigh more than I’d like to, have boys who chose their own clothes that are usually too small, and drive a Ford.  I felt less than her, like she was looking down on me.  Never did she ever in any way do anything to make me feel this way.  It was all my own insecurities and comparing my weaknesses to her strengths.  She has now gotten remarried and moved out of her parents house.  I still see her often and she is always as nice as ever.  I’ve gotten over some of my issues and I always talk to her as much as I can when I see her.  I’ve come to learn that we’re more alike than I ever could have imagined and that she is not nearly what I imagined her to be.

I think I missed a great opportunity to have a friend.  We were both single parents at the same time and we could have helped each other out.

I have another neighbor down the street.  She had 6 kids in 10 years, and wears “mom jeans”.  She kind of reminds me of Michelle Duggar.  I never would have admitted it and don’t think I consciously thought it, but deep down I thought I was better than her.  Then I was asked to work with her in Cub Scouts.  Turns out she is so organized, her house was always clean when I went there, and she did so much work behind the scenes.  We would have Cub Scout planning meetings and I would show up and she had already planned everything out and just made sure it was okay with me and gave me an assignment.  Her assignments she always had done a few days in advance and some of them took quite a bit of time.

I no longer feel like I’m better than her and I’m ashamed that I ever did.  She is so ahead of me in so many ways but I didn’t see that before.  I compared myself to what I saw, which was hardly any of what she has to offer.

I still struggle with comparing myself to others, maybe I always will.  I’m glad that now I know that I’m not playing fair.  I’m comparing strengths to weaknesses and now I realize what that does.  Hopefully this realization is the first step on the path to being comparison free.

*You can read the full text of the talk here.  I highly recommend it.

I’ve been reading blogs for a few years now.  I enjoy following other peoples lives and reading their thoughts.  I used to view my blog reading as a waste of time and some of it is.  Do I really need to know what someone I went to church with 7 years ago and didn’t talk to much then and haven’t been in contact with since is doing?  Not really, but yet I still read their blog once in a while.  Even though some blogs are a waste of time, I’ve come to realize lately how much I have actually learned from blogs.  I can honestly some blogs have changed the way I think on all sorts of levels.

There are a few blogs on my blog list that are definitely not a waste of time.  One of them is Money Saving Mom.  It is a deal blog but it is also so much more.  Crystal from MSM, is a blogger, homeschooling mother of 3 and very inspirational.  She is always trying to motivate and help others to become better.   Some of the things that I have learned from her are to set goals and write them down, how to be a better money manager, how to spend less on groceries (I’m not sure if she still does but at one point she was feeding her family of 5 for $40 a week!), easy ways to eat healthier, freezer cooking, all sorts of DIY ideas (sometimes things I had never thought that you could make yourself), and overall time management.

Now Crystal has written a book called The Money Saving Mom®’s Budget.  The following is the book description from Amazon.

Mommy-money blogger Crystal Paine distills her best financial advice and secrets from her blog MONEY SAVING MOM®, to help families get their finances in order. Based on The Money Saving Mom’s Seven Rules for Financial Success and written in a simple, straight-forward style, this book offers an easy plan for a complete financial makeover.

In the first few chapters, you’ll learn how to set big financial goals and actually follow through with them, how to organize your home and life so you can have more time to focus on getting your finances in order, and how to implement a realistic cash budget system that can transform your financial situation.

After laying the foundation for financial success in the first few chapters, Paine then teaches you step-by-step how to cut your grocery and household expenditures by 30% to 50%. You’ll learn both basic and advanced couponing techniques, 25 practical ways to save money on groceries without clipping coupons, how to buy prescription glasses for under $20, how to dress your children for free, and much more.

If you think living a frugal, simple and debt-free life means you can’t ever enjoy dining out, entertainment or vacations, guess again! From money-saving vacation ideas to secrets to dining out on a budget, this book shows you how to enjoy strategic splurging — and how to do it at half the price.

Sprinkled throughout the book are testimonies from people whose lives have been transformed through the principles Paine shares. You’ll be inspired, challenged and motivated to spend less, save more and make the most of what you have.

It comes out January 10 and I’m excited to read it as I’m sure I will learn something that will improve not only my finances but also my life.  If you’re interested in reading it you can pre-order it here.  I’m saving up my swagbucks to buy it since it won’t fit in our budget right now.  (I’m pretty sure Crystal would approve.)  Whether you read her book or not, check our her blog, but only if you want to improve yourself in some way.

This morning I was watching the Today Show as I finished exercising.  Big Boy loves the news and was watching with me.  The first three stories on the Today Show were 1. The Penn State sex abuse scandal, 2. Silvio Berlusconi stepping down as the Prime Minister of Italy and the fact that he has been involved in several sex scandals, and 3.  The Herman Cain sex abuse story and the fact that his wife is now campaigning with him.  Fifteen minutes of the news and it was all about sexual abuse in some form.  And my 7 year old is sitting there on the couch taking it all in.  I was thinking the whole time that I didn’t want him to be watching this, wondering what he was thinking, what questions he was going to be asking me.  Wishing that he could remain innocent longer.

Unfortunately, he lives in this world that is obsessed with sex.  It’s one of those things he’s going to hear about.  I’d rather he hear about it while I’m in the room with him so I know what is being said.  He hasn’t asked any questions yet but I know they’re coming.  He is getting to that age, the age when it needs to be talked about.

Then this afternoon on the radio there was a story about a gang who has switched from selling drugs to forced prostitution as a way to make money.  They force women and girls (as young as 12) into prostitution.  It said they charge $30-$50 a visit with 10-15 visits a day.  Those numbers make me sick.  15 times a day some poor girls is forced to give her body to someone.  15 times a day someone is paying for sex from someone who is forced to give it to them.  And that’s just one person, one day.

What is this world coming to?  It’s pretty sad when you can’t even let your kids watch the Today Show because you don’t know what they’re going to see.

December 1, 2001

I went out on my first date with Chris tonight.  It was okay.  We went to his Guard Christmas party.  We pretty much went and ate dinner then left.  We came back and watched the BYU game.  They beat Mississippi by a field goal in the last minute but Luke Staley broke his ankle.  Oh well.  Chris was bothering me during the game.  He just doesn’t watch football a lot so I knew more of what was going on which I don’t really like.  Plus he kept saying dumb comments.  After the game ended we played cards.  Then he didn’t bother me anymore.  I’m mad at myself a little though because we made out again tonight.  It was on the love couch to my make-out cd so I couldn’t pass up the opportunity.  It wasn’t for too long though and we were actually talking about stuff but then Eve came home.  Anyway, he did say that he liked me a lot.  I asked if he liked me or if he liked to kiss me.  His answer was that he liked me.

 

*Post Edit – I kind of sound like a tramp, making out (again) on our first date.  Just for the record, we had been hanging out for two months at this point and were already “dating”, this was just the first actual date we went on.