(Reaching for me, or maybe a fruit snack, I can’t remember for sure.)

Baby Boy is a mama’s boy.   If he can see me he rarely wants to be with anyone else.  I’m the one he wants when he gets hurt or is tired.  I’m the one who has to follow him as he climbs the stairs, making sure he doesn’t fall.  I’m the one who spends all day holding him or with him holding on to my leg begging for me to pick him up.

At his recent 1st birthday party, when our home was filled with family who wanted to hold him and play with him, I’m the only one he would be with.  If I wasn’t holding him he was crying.  I had to hold him while we sang Happy Birthday to him.  I had to hold him as the candles were blown out and he curiously poked at his cake.

I was frustrated.  I was hosting dinner and a party for about 20 people.  I wanted both hands to be able to do it.

Then today I left for a while and baby boy was home with just his dad.  They spent the time playing together, just the two of them.  They played with blocks and crawled around the room.  Since I returned Baby Boy seems to have warmed up to Dad a little.  He smiles at him more often and likes him a little bit more.

I’m realizing now what a joy it is to be his favorite, to be the one he wants.  To have this time when he prefers me.  I know it won’t last.  I feel like it has started slipping away already.  He has started to discover Dad.  Now that he is getting old enough to play, Dad is much more fun than Mom.  He rough houses and plays in ways that Mom doesn’t, ways that little boys love.

So now I’m going to relish the times he is in my arms.  The times he wants me and no one else.  I’m going to treat every time like it’s the last time because now I know that it just might be.

(Big boy Jan. 05)

Today as I was folding laundry Baby boy kept himself occupied by pulling all of the clean clothes out of the laundry basket and throwing them on the floor.  The moment made me remember a time when Big Boy was close to the same age.  I was folding laundry and he was doing the exact same thing, throwing clean clothes all over the floor.  Only when Big Boy did it all those years ago, I stopped and took a picture.  Then I posted the picture online for my family to see.  It was so cute that he was “helping” me do laundry.

It’s interesting how our reactions to the same situation can vary so much.  Today as I was in pretty much the exact same situation, I didn’t even think to get my camera.  I was just glad that Baby Boy was occupied so that I could actually get the laundry folded.  I’m sure back when Big Boy was playing in the clean clothes I had plenty of time to get the laundry folded and put away.  It didn’t matter if I took a few minutes to snap a picture.  These days that isn’t the case.  It’s not unusual for clean laundry to sit in a basket for days waiting to be folded.  Honestly, most of it probably doesn’t get folded at all because it get worn again before it makes it into the drawer.

Lack of time isn’t the only thing that affects my reactions now.  Your perspective changes from your 1st child to your 3rd.  With your first everything is so new and exciting.  You can’t believe how cute and smart they are.  The more kids you have the more things just become normal things all kids do.  Of course you love your 3rd child just as much as your 1st but you certainly see things differently.  And your 3rd child playing with laundry is certainly nothing to write home about.

I ran my first 10k today.

I’ve run many 5k’s but have never had the courage to do longer distances.   I was nervous.  I hadn’t trained.  As a matter of fact I haven’t run more than two miles in months.

I have a fear every race I do that I will be the last one.  I think it’s my main motivation to push myself.  It happens to someone in every race.  It happened to my mom once.  There she was plugging down the course with a truck right behind her picking up the cones.  She finished.  I’m not sure if I would have.

I was late.  When I finally got to the starting line, everyone was gone.  As I was walking up one of the race officials hollered “Last call for the 10k.”  I was the last person to start the race.

The 4th of July is a big deal around here.  There is a parade that people come from miles around to see.  They even camp out all night to save their place.  Part of the race course follows the parade route.  Here I was at the back of the pack running in front of thousands of people.  I just put my head down and ran.

I listened to my favorite motivational song (twice) and just kept going.

I didn’t finish last.  The good news about starting last is that you pass a lot more people than pass you.

I guess I’ll still have my last place fears to motivate me in the future and my last one starting experience to motivate me to get there on time.

When I was young, probably about 10 or 11, my sister and I had a contest to see who could write in their journal for the most consecutive nights in a row.  I don’t remember what the prize was but I’m pretty sure my sister won.  I do remember that once during the contest I read her journal.  It was a horrible thing to do and I knew it.  I did it anyway.   She was pretty mad at me when she found out.  As a 12 year old girl I’m sure she had so many secrets to keep.  Like how cute Justin Newman was.

Even thought I didn’t win the contest I won so much more.  Ever since that time I have been a regular journal writer.  (I must admit that I have not been as good about it the last few years.)  That means that I have several journals full of stories about my life.

I decided to have a series called Blast from the Past where I will post one of my journal entries from a random day in the last 20 years of my life.  I may comment on it or I may just let it speak for itself.

We’ll start today.

This was the earliest entry I could find in the few minutes I took to look.

(I left the spelling and grammar just how it was when it was written.)

Dec. 28, 1990

“Today I went sleding and when I got home I went to the store with my mom, sisters and a girl we were tending.  Then when we got home we ate lunch.  Then I played a game named quizzard.  Then I went to clean my room.  I am saposed to be cleaning but my mom left so I’m not.  Today I thought about something.  My boyfriend, my friends thing his is cute but they don’t like his persanaliaty so they don’t like him but I like him.  I think he is cute.  His name is Justin Dunaway.”

Just a couple of thoughts.  First, I was 10.  I didn’t remember having a “boyfriend” when I was ten.  Once I read it, it came back to me.  Of course it was just a “do you want to go out with me,” boyfriend who I said yes to then barely talked to again.  Man, it’s still kind of crazy.  I swear that is too young to like boys.

Second, I laughed when I read that I stopped cleaning because my mom left.  I guess I shouldn’t get so annoyed at my kids when they do the same thing.

 

Last weekend the boys and I spent a few days at The Dirt.  The Dirt is my brother-in-laws (BIL) family’s cabin.  It is a beautiful cabin up in the mountains of Utah close to a reservoir.  I’ve heard about The Dirt many times as it is frequented often by my sister and her family.

My BIL and his family built The Dirt.  Everything they could do themselves they have.  They dug the hole for the foundation, hung the drywall, painted, etc.  They’re still working on the finishes.  Every time they’re there they work on it.  It’s close to finished now and very enjoyable in its present state.

The first day we were there I kept thinking how awesome it was that they had The Dirt, to have a mountain getaway whenever you want without any expense except the gas to get there.   How great would it be to have unlimited access to such a beautiful place?  They keep The Dirt fully stocked so you could really jump in the car with practically nothing and stay for a few days without any problem.

I also kept thinking about all of the lessons that we could teach our boys if we did the same thing.  Not only would they learn construction skills but they would also learn about hard work, delayed gratification, patience, team work, balancing work and play, endurance, setting goals and accomplishing them and much more.

When it was all done, not only would they have learned all of these wonderful lessons but we would have a beautiful place in the mountains that was all our own.  Our kids could enjoy it with their families and then their kids could use it with their families and on and on.

Then I started noticing the pictures on the wall of The Dirt of the early days.  When it was simply a foundation and they were all sleeping in tents.  I was talking to my BIL’s mom and she told me about how they had a camp trailer parked on the lot that they cooked in until the kitchen was finished.  I realized that I was seeing The Dirt after 8-10 years of work.  Sure now it is a really nice place to stay but it wasn’t always that way.

And I realized that all of those lessons that my boys would be learning, I would be right there next to them learning them myself.

Suddenly the idea of building a family cabin wasn’t so enticing anymore.

Hi, my name is Heather.

I’m also known as Bubba, or Bub for short.  It’s a nickname I’ve had for as long as I can remember, probably because I got it when I was a baby.  I was a chubby baby (the cutest ones are right?) so my family started calling me Baloo like the bear from The Jungle Book.  Well my sister just older than me couldn’t say Baloo so she called me Bubba Louie and it stuck.

Here I am with my husband.

He’s an officer in the National Guard.  We have been married for almost 9 years and he is by far the best thing that has happened to me.

I spend my days home taking care of these 3.  Big boy just turned 7.  He is too smart for his own good.  He is the best big brother anyone could ask for.  Medium boy came up with his title himself when baby boy was born.  He is 4 and keeps me on my toes.  Baby boy is a very sweet addition to our family.  He turns one next month and is a joy to us all especially now that he is sleeping through the night.

I am the 8th of 10 children.  I have 6 sisters and 3 brothers.

I am a Mormon.

I enjoy reading blogs, reading books, family vacations, camping, scuba diving, hiking, getting good deals, cooking, and watching my boys play sports.

I wish that I were a photographer, seamstress and runner.